“hey you know how you’re violent and irrational on account of your disorders? yeah I don’t think you should be like that” is not in fact helpful. and when someone who knows they can get violent asks you to leave the room so they don’t hurt you while they cool down? you should do that

So like the whole "they don't put any effort into presenting not-femme and are still femme presenting so I'm just going to treat them as a woman still and not take their identity seriously" has always just been an excuse to misgender people and dismiss the trans identities of people who don't perform gender to the person's standards.

And it's always couched in terms of "not bothering" to bind or dress masculinely or have long hair or continue to wear makeup and who "aren't able" to access hrt or surgeries or whatever. Because it gives the person plausible deniability to say "I'm not talking about those trans people who are really trans and just can't meet my new gender performing standards for legitimate reasons, I'm talking about those fake trans who just say they're trans but don't actually put in any effort"

And like. You have no way of knowing who is in the closet and unable to transition for safety, who is not able to access resources for medical transition, who is comfortable with their current appearance and has no desire to pursue surgeries or hrt or change anything about themselves as part of their transition. There is no way of knowing just from looking at someone whether or not they meet your criteria in order to take their identity seriously.

And also like. The further I get in my transition and the more things I'm able to access the more it's like... I've had top surgery. I'm on T. I've had short hair. I've dressed in men's clothes. And I've been gendered as female 100% of the time throughout everything. Because despite all that my face still reads as feminine and my voice despite dropping still reads as feminine. My hair is currently in a femme style. And I don't care to change those things because with all the other ways I've been able to transition I'm comfortable in my body and they don't cause me dysphoria. But they're enough to make me "present femme" in a way that doesn't make cis people pause before assuming I'm a woman, and any of the ways I have been able to masculinize my body get registered and then dismissed as things I've actively cultivated and instead get me read as transfemme by other trans people. Because apparently in order to not assumed to be a girl I have to remove every trace of anything feminine from my existence.

And then it's also like. The expectation of performing non-femininity of performing masculinity or degendering androgyny to the appropriate standards in order to have your identity respected is just like. If you're just existing in your body, just throwing on jeans and a t shirt and letting yourself exist as is, is like how is that presenting "femininely"??? just because you're afab and existing is not inherently "presenting feminine". And like when you couple that with not binding...which uh it can be choice but also like... binding is the active choice here where you have to get a binder and put on the binder and choose to use the binder. Again there's no way of looking at someone and being able to tell if they're not binding because they can't due to medical or financial or safety reasons or just due to personal choice. And so the idea that not binding is presenting as inherently feminine is just. Not binding is the default existence of the body and shouldn't be gendered as a presentation choice + nobody should be required to change anything about themselves in order to have their identity respected.

...anyway I have a bunch of thoughts about existing as a trans masc enby and being read as feminine and being misgendered. Hope some of the train of thought ramble vent rant made sense.

Bisexual is when you speak two languages